I felt terrible about it, but here is the situation:
In this particular choir there are 14 girls. About 3 are fairly chatty and constantly have to be asked for their attention and focus. The girls know each other very well as it's a linear course and I've observed several classes with them.
I find the most effective way to get somebody's attention when they are chatting is to call their name and ask for their focus or quiet. Instantly their ears perk up and they realize you noticed they were talking.
Anywho, in a 1 hour lesson, I called this particular girl's name 2-3 times, and I called several other girl's names as well. It was a chatty day. Part way through the class the girl got up and left. I assumed she had gone to the washroom and didn't realize something was up until the end of the lesson when she came back in.
She asked if she could talk to me one on one. She said that it really upset her when I called her name in class because it singled her out. She said she has a really tough time focusing and she would really like it if I didn't call her name out. I explained to her that I was sorry she felt singled out, but that my only intention was to get her attention because her talking was disrupting her focus and other students' focus.
After the incident I spoke with my sponsor teacher, and she thought that I responded well to the situation, but that I really hadn't done anything wrong or offensive to make the girl upset. My sponsor said she probably would've done the same thing I did in class, and the only difference is that she has developed a strong rapport with her students.
Rapport is key.
I am going to work extra hard over the next few weeks to get to know the students more. Anything from saying "hello" in the hallways to asking about their weekends and standing at the door as they leave the classroom.
wow, steph! that sounds like a difficult situation, but it does sound like you handled it really well.
ReplyDeleteYour sponsor teacher sounds right, that it is all about rapport. I'm very lucky in that almost all of my choir students are in at least 1 band. What this means is that the relationships I've built with them in choir are now transferring to band (I've done more choir so far than band). This has helped a lot in that the choir kids know my routines, know that i can't stand it when they're chatting, and they "shhhh" their friends in band.
I think that the student who cried probably is really really fond of you, and just took things too personally. My guess is that now that the two of you have talked, she'll be the one to start "shhhsshh ing" her friends so you won't have to! Good luck!